new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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