Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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