eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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