My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
