I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
