Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
