I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
there is glitter all over my balls
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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