Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
