just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
