Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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