Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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