I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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