Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
