Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
