How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
