I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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