Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
