The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
