Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
