YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
