Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
