WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
