I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
