I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
