I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
