it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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