and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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