Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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