is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
