plz talk dirty to me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
