if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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