Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
