so explain again why im purple
no
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
