Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just tell him i said nine months
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
as a side note pls kill me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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