my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
