we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
