i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
