I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
