he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the day after is always just damage control
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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