I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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