Already got asked if we're dating
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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