Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
