May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
