he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
