dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
