you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
