Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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