I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Someone signed my nipple.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
