She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
