He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
